Natyam-Sangeetham-Natyam

We have a very good family friend where the whole family are professional musicians in Kuala Lumpur. Mostly the uncle and aunty will accompany my mother for all her Arrangetram and Salangai pooja's. 

In 1992 my mom did an arrangetram for her student and I was two years old baby by the time. So barely I remember the rehearsals and everything. But while growing up, amma and sister used to discuss about all the past rehearsal sessions they had with her students along with this uncle and aunty. Almost we all call them mama and mami. So I made sure, next time any performance and rehearsals, I'm not going to miss it.  

Keeping this in my mind since I was so small, I always expected, soon my mom to do any salangai pooja's to her senior batches or at least hoping to meet this mama mami quite soon to see how mami sings and how mama plays the mridangam. I have seen my brother practices his tabla, so I only know what tabla was and had no any single idea about mridangam except sound it makes. So this music thing totally fascinates me.

The day I was eagerly waiting for arrived somewhere between November-December 1996. And that was for a salangai pooja for the batch of students that came from Midas Technology College. I remember each of them very well and also the financial crisis they all faced to conduct this program. I think both my parents helped them a lot by cutting down lots of expenses and make it to a very reasonable prices. For one or two of them, my mother didn't get her guru dakshina as well. She did it for FOC - (she has told me vithya thaanam is always the best, teach for those who are under-privileged children's and your whole generation will be blessed with knowledge).

Practices and choreograph sessions were going on full fledged and my sister played the main role in this salangai pooja. As she also studied in the same college and those girls who gonna perform are her batch mates, she help them out with extra hours of practicing in the college class room itself. Sometimes she will take over the classes, as my mom will be coming a bit late - of coarse by getting me ready, she will be spending hours of time with my hair ( a very tragedy one). Practice session is always fun, exploring many adavus with different syllabus and learning them. I loved watching both my mom and sister teach them, while I sit in a corner like a pumpkin and try to do the same in my head. Sometimes in bathroom at home :p (nobody knows it) If akka does thakka thimi in third speed level, I will try the same in fourth speed.

If a student not able to catch up with the speed, first these both my mom and sister will teach them only the leg movements and go with the speed level. Once they are able to do the speed required for the song, mom will move to the hand gesture. After getting it perfect she will ask the students to do both hand and leg movements together and the output will be amazing!

Soon the day I was looking forward came. We all went to the mama and mami's house -  where a full musicians that needed for a natyam katcheri is already there, having their coffee in tumblr (believe me mami's iyer-ish coffee is the best). Mama, mami, a flutist - we call him Perambalam uncle and a violist Yogeshwari aunty and everybody seeing me after four years - from a 2 years old baby to a 6 years old kid. And yeah, I was everyone's the apple of eye. After some coffee time, everybody went back of the house where mama had a big hall for katcheri rehearsals et all. My brother joined with mama-mami's  two sons who were his age equal and watching some programmes on television. And me roaming around the house and saw two girls who are just a year or two elders to me ( mama & mami's younger daughters), they greeted me happily into their room and we started playing all sorts of games. They was my first ever friends I made and we ate chocolates and bring those balance left chocolates to our brothers to have them.

Tired with all the games we played, Suganya the elder daughter went to sleep and left only me and Sharanya. We both preferred to watch the rehearsal sessions, so we came down and joined with the others at the back-yard hall. I don't even know why I remember these scenes, but I do. 

My mother was on nattuvangam while mama with his mridangam and the others on their respective musical instruments. Mami first suggest to sing keertanam, which my sister going to perform in that salangai pooja as a special dance during costume changing time for the others. 

I remember this keertanam so well- it was composed by papanasam sivam in jaganmohini raga and starts like Shivakama Sundari and how mami sang it so flawlessly. During this rehearsal time, my full concentration was on mami only. Totally awed the way she sings every swaram and sahityams. Dance was going on and mama keep on praising my sister for her perfection of tala and adavu's. I didn't pay much attention to her, I can watch her dancing anytime but mami only twice in a year or two years, so prefer to eyed on mami herself. Three days of full rehearsal from evening till midnight and followed by the final stage performance was just an amazing thing. For me even today, nobody can match up to her level in singing for bharathanatyam katcheris. Obviously there are many other classical singers who sangs well but for me mami is the best.

And I really wanted to learn sangeetham and sing like her one day. I told my mother to join me in sangeetham class. As I was so young she didn't enroll me, and she asked me to wait for a year or two. The day also finally arrived, after four years in 2000 for saraswati pooja. There was a sangeetham teacher near to my house in Rasah Jaya, apparently who was a family friend to this mama and mami. I joined happily in this sangeetham class and always waits for the Fridays 5pm. The teacher was extremely sweet to me and she also took good care of me during my class hours.

My first day class with her was extra special as it was Saraswati Pooja, she thought me to sing a Ganapathy Geetam - Sree gananatha sindoora varna karuna sagara karivathana followed by swaram 

M P D S S R S D P M P.  I was so excited that within a day I can sing a swaram already. Done with Ganapathy geetham and moved to Saraswathy Geetam - Vara Veena. One month, two month and three months went off like this. Everything was going well until I discover one carnatic book in my home, somewhere in old bookshelf drawer or what. And then I realized that I never learn the basic of sangeetham at all. There was swaravali Varisai and jandai varisai and more and I've no any idea about it. I went to my mom and asked what is this and she says these are basics and you should know swaravali by now what?! I pretend like I know and I'm testing you ma.

The following week Friday came and I went to the teacher, showed the book I found at my house and asked her why she never teach me this. All she says was oh you're a daughter of classical dance teacher and you should know this earlier itself. This is actually not necessary for you dear, just go with the songs and learn them. There are enough swaram in those songs already, so nothing much to be worried about. I'm already 11 years old and know certain things already. I told okay fine, no problem teacher I will ask about this to my aunty who is also a classical singer, and she asked me for the name and I said my mami's name. 

The next thing she did was took me back to my home and she says that she going to stop teaching music for me as I'm not much concentrating on what she's teaching me. And she gave back the guru dakshina my mom gave to her when I joined the class, but amma says she's not going to take it back as she knows what it does really mean. 

After ending the conversation with my music teacher my mother came in and asked what happened, and I explained her everything since the first day of class - on what I've learnt and what's not. Mom was quite disappointed with the teacher and so there ends my music journey.

And the natyam began again!!!! :) Sometimes, I think probably god never bless me with music, so I never had the chance of learning it properly even-though I did have a little knowledge about raaga and tala. Maybe in my next birth with both Bharathanatyam and Carnatic Music :D 

Mom & home classes

Mommy wasn't the usual dance teacher that we all see in studios who teaches only for amazingly talented students. She is a one who even makes a person to dance even though they do not have the talent or enough strength to do it. 

Students from all over the country used to come to mom and join her classes during school holiday time and learn whatever they can. Even there were certain dance teachers who don't have the patience to teach a small child with the basics of natyam will recommend amma. She's the epitome of "porumai" when it comes to dance. 

She will take most of the private lessons in house. At that time, we all were very particular that no other chores will go in our house. Even if dad need to watch the evening news he had to go to our neighbors house. In mid of 90's we only had one TV and I still remember the brand - SHARP (which actually went to service for a zillion times since 95-05). And during this private class sessions, I'll be the play, forward and rewind girl and also listen to the lyrics properly and tell it to amma, so that she can choreograph. 

My brother - from dining hall, he will be the commentator, let it be mom or the student. Mom used to say that he is brilliant child who can easily finds mistakes in the adavu's and mudra's but he don't dance. Still he does the same, even I'll be a little hesitate to practice or comment about natyam in front of him. What will I do, if he finds a mistake in mine? :p But yeah, those classes will actually filled with lots of laughter and full of knowledge. 

I mostly learnt to dance from those classes only - basically the students parents all had a little grudge on me. Either I'm taller than their daughters or dance even so well than their professional classical dance performers. Well I was just about 6-10 years old during that period of time. Most of the time, I'll be doing the demo for those akka's if only they're learning for pure classical songs - I'm allowed only for pure classical else a big NO. The students really adore me, and some even help me out in homework's during their break time. And I do the vice versa. 

Basically she made sure that I don't learn nor perform for any cinematic classical songs. She also prefers only classical for all of us ( including her students ) but most of the parents force my mom to teach cine classical for their children's. She will try to convince them saying she's is still a child, and why are you making her to explore to cinema song but enga keppanga - nallathukku kaalam illeye. Some parents even will say harsh words, we're paying you and just do as we say! During that time time, if my mom was in good mood, blessed they are, but if only she is in already bad mood, duhhhhhh.. Take your child and get out from my home and don't come back to my classes hereafter - will be her stern reply.

When such situation happens, these parents will look for my father and complaint a lot about amma to him. Oh your wife is so head weight lady, she don't respect the money nor she teaches our children as we required. Mr.Rajoo, Please talk to your wife and ask her to take back our children back to her classes. These girl never want any other teacher if it's not your wife. And my father will be like why I'm being pulled between this - well fine I'll try to talk. In mean while these parents will seek for another parents recommendations too. Well after all these no sense talks ( yes, I tag them as no sense talks - when you're talking to the guru of the child, respect them, do not think only your money is valuable thing and not the teachers knowledge) mom will take the child back to the class, but just for child's sake.

I always wonder how mom managed to choreograph different adavus with mudras to the same line for many other students. This wonder made me to learnt the nuances of natyam and of most jathi's and how to choreograph adavu's for them accordingly to the talakattu (rhythm). My biggest competitor is my sister and as she's away from home to work in Singapore, I took the chance of learning a lot of things from my mother. My mom, used to say that there's no one can dance like her elder daughter, and this actually irks me a lot.. Like really a lot! I wanted to prove something to my mother in this.

So from then on, began my training for arrangetram in end of 2001 with the songs I already knew such as Alarippu, Hamsanandi (Raag) Jathiswaram and Kanada raag Thillana. Once polished up with adavus for these three songs then in mid of 2002, my mom started to teach me Varnam - Swami Naan Undan Adimei .... 

Dance & Films

I've been battling in between this both since my childhood. But to be honest in my younger days I didn't watch much movies. The kind of movies I watch is all depends upon the actors or directors. I didn't watch many pop cultured movie jokes. Or even I don't know that ondre ana jokes. That's what my mom says "Jokes not worth for 1 1/2 cents. :P

And the kind of books I chose to read is always about sci-fic, fantasy and romance ( of coarse romance during my college days, else my family would've fried me up!). I still remember I watched Roja only few years back, somewhere between 2013-2014. In 2001, my family watched Alaipayuthey only after I fell into sleep, otherwise no. My mom has told to my bro hide that CD from her eyes else she will watch it. Thank god my brother didn't do as she said, and he even asked me to watch it. 

To write about my brother, basically I don't talk about him much to people but yeah when I need to, I have tons of things to say about. He is protective about his sisters yet still he don't control me (as i'm the younger). Yes he gave me the freedom i need and actually we will keep this topic for another post.

In the middle of 2002, I was kept busy between my arrangetram practices and also for my board exam. My mother was so sure about doing my arrangtram before the end of 2003, as I was too stubborn for it. I was so desperate for my arrangetram because I was so annoyed seeing all my  mom's other students making their stage debut and giving endless performances at everywhere. And at another point my mom who is also my guru made a point without doing arrangetram, I'm not allowed to do anymore performances. Yes I was giving performance when I was 9,10 and 11 years o;d right after my salangai pooja.

Once done with my Arrangetram on 18th December 2003, I was totally packed with my secondary school studies. Board exams and everything. I was the only girl in my school that didn't got into any relationship nor had a boyfriend kinda friend. But yeah I'd friends girls and boys but not that particular one boy. Somehow I'm not attracted into this relationship tag. And also that was the time i did had a love hate relationship with my bharathanatyam. Again I was not allowed to perform due to my studies but my mother did gave me chances to choreograph her students for their performances, salangai pooja and arrangetrams. I do earn some penny's from that. :)) Where I spent most of my money in bookshop buying books. 

Right after my high school, I was introduced into Multimedia and graphics and all sorts of computer related subjects. That was the only time for the three years I totally forget about bharathanatyam and got full fledged into making animations, videos, giving voice over to my other batch mates videos. So my mind was totally focused into films. I was a pro in Audio Visual Techniques and script writing. So literally got my interest into films. Also I started up a blog for films and review about them and sometimes with my own imagination I do change the screenplay and post it. I did get a quite number of good response but not able to continue it after sometime.

During my first script writing attempt, the whole class and lectures team praise me for the kind of techniques I used in it. I still remember, it was a high school love story script and I still have them in my bookshelf. I learnt French and German during this period for my script writing purpose. I always wanted to do something different. And also learnt to speak telugu fluently again ( yes, i used to speak telugu with my mom when i was a little kid) and watch many genres of movies and read lots of books to get ideas. 

My ideas sometimes goes beyond imaginations and most of it will be rofl :'D. If you haven't gone through my kind of writings maybe you should read the Frozen 2 storyline which totally made everyone to laugh out loud. I wrote this storyline few weeks before my mom's demise and I read it to her, she smiled. After her death, I was so lonely, and I spent most of my hours and days only with Divya chatting all kind of things. At that period of time I again resume back with Bharathanatyam. Probably I felt my mother's presence around me whenever I dance. And that made me feel better. By the time I took dance seriously into my life as a profession, I also made up my mind that I need to be in films - obviously behind came and i started to work on a script with a little inputs from a fav novel a Bollywood Wedding.  

After a year, things didn't turn out to be I expected, I left the script, I felt betrayed, loneliness surrounds me, something haunts me. I stayed away from every social sites except email. This is another untold story of mine. 

Maybe now I need to resume back my script and screenplay on this idea for Gautham. 

To be continued........